You’re on an island. With nothing to survive with but pineapple, coconuts, water and rum. And you’re alone because that’s how it works. Only one possession besides your clothing (if that) survived. An album with the means to listen to it. This album is now your world. You’re only means of staying sane besides the rum of course. So what would that album be? For me I can’t simply choose one so I decided to turn it into a segment. This is ‘Stranded Island Records Pt. 2’. The album of choice today is Van Halen’s perfect ‘For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge’, aka the ‘FUCK’ album.
This is really one of those straight down records. No skipping at all. Every song is excellent. An unbelievably crafted record. And yeah, I’m going to say it. Van Halen never did anything this good with David Lee Roth. They just didn’t. They came close a few times with ‘Fair Warning’ and moments of ‘1984’. But the David Lee Roth era lacked the discipline to create a record of impeccable consistency.
Starting with ‘Poundcake’, one of the great opening tracks on any rock album. The power drill that Eddie applies to his guitar on the intro is just a sick ass texture. Not to mention how catchy the riff and drum rhythm is. It just digs under your skin. Then ‘Judgement Day’ comes in to speed things up a bit. Eddie’s guitar break is simply one of the great finger hammer breaks in all of rock. Of course, he pretty much perfected the technique so it makes sense. But he doesn’t lose track of feel and emotion through out the solo which is the sign of a great musician. Then the band drops it mega mega phat with ‘Spanked’. A funky ass hard rock track about phone sex lines. Which were a craze in the early 90’s. And obviously it’s lucrative because those companies are still around. Anyway, the track is just of Eddie’s baddest fucking riffs. It’s the kind of rock you listen to and go, ‘why the hell aren’t there bands like this anymore?’ The answer being a very complicated one.
The strength keeps up with ‘Runaround’. Seriously, it’s four unreal songs in a row by this point. And the record doesn’t let up. The only time there is a very very very slight drop in quality is the next track ‘Pleasure Dome’ which feels a bit like a last minute fill in track. But that’s not to say it isn’t listenable. It very much is. It’s just not quite as excellent as the first four tracks. One of my absolute favorite songs is ‘In ‘N Out’. It’s such a simple riff and drum beat. But it’s so effective and catchy. And the chords set up an opportunity for open jamming that can’t be passed up. And the band doesn’t. One of the best parts is the opening solo over the riff. Great lyrics too. Which is also important. Then we move into ‘Man On A Mission’. Seriously, my head is about to explode with quality here. Just one track after another. That’s why it’s a stranded island record. The song is one of the funkiest, baddest assed riffs out there. And it rivals ‘Spanked’ on the funkyness. But the best part is the solo bridge. The riff under the solo is one that I can listen to all day. It’s just like ‘oh, hell yeah, right there!’
The rest of the album takes quite a mature route. But it never lets up on the rock or the quality of the material. ‘The Dream is Over’ is the deep cut on the album. The song that’s talked about the least. And I think that’s a bit unfair. Of course, with an album where literally every song is great there’s bound to be a track that gets lost in the shuffle. No matter how good it is. And ‘The Dream is Over’ is that track. The intro is actually the heaviest on the album before going into a signature Eddie Van Halen riff. It’s also one of Eddie’s most underrated solos. ‘Right Now’ is the hit from the album and deservedly so. The piano intro is classic. Then the riff comes in with its power and catchy atmosphere. And the message is also excellent. Sammy Hagar always cared about lyrical messages more than David Lee Roth. The album closes with ‘316’ and ‘Top of the World’. The former being a short, melodic guitar track most likely improvised in the studio. The finishing track ‘Top of the World’ is one of the most memorable album closers out there. I remember seeing a Sammy Hagar led Van Halen in 2004 and they really slayed the track. Very special moment.
Not only is the albums song writing top notch. So is the production. Which I think is something that Van Halen always struggled with. I mean, Eddie’s guitar always sounded good. But Alex Van Halen’s drums can sound horrendous on some of the albums. I just hate that dead snare sound he has on the David Lee Roth era albums. But on ‘For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge’ that dead snare sound was replaced with a huge, phat slap snare. The way it should always sound.
Overall, it’s easy to see why the record is a stranded island album. It’s a top down record that can be listened to over and over again. One of the greatest albums of all time in my opinion. Just can’t get enough of it!
Awesome album and concert opener.
Bringing in the sexy funk metal.
Better than anyone else.
What a hit!!
